Things You Should NEVER Say While Trying to "WOO" Someone. . . .

Disclaimer:  The following sayings were said to one or more of the friendship circle members via text messages and creepy awkward conversations.  They however, were NOT said by any of the members, just laughed about afterwards.

"I'm falling in LIKE with you already"

"Wanna hold me?"

"Can't wait to hug you."

"My family is VERY important, like AL Capone important."


 IMPORTANT!


While one appreciates a nice text in the morning telling us how beautiful we are... One should probably be careful who they send it to and make sure it's not an e-mail address. You see, when you send to an e-mail address it allows the recipient to see ALL the recipients of your sweet text. ALL 7. Whoops!

After confrontation of the findings the following texts were exchanged......... 



FC = Friendship Circle

DB = Douchbag



FC: How many of the group of girls still talk to you?

DB: 4 of the 7

FC: You didn't lose all their trust, you got that going for you

DB: But I wanted your trust, not theirs.

DB: I'm willing to try exclusive

FC: That wasn't one of the options, We can hang out but NOT makeout and if you can't that is your own issue.

DB: No hugging?  No cuddling?? No KISSING??? Just friends? Just hanging OUT?? 

FC:  Those rights were lost following your compulsive lying.

DB: I want to date you.  We were hanging out and you were liking me.  I loved it.

DB:  :(

FC:  Gag.

DB: We can hang out as friends right? But not dating?

FC:  I may be beginning to rethink that offer. 

DB: Not sure if I can go backwards tho, I'm really attracted to you.

FC:  Again, not really my fault.

DB:  I don't want to throw you away.

FC:  Was that some sort of backwards compliment?  You throw garbage away, not beautiful women you    ass.

DB: Can I come see you for a little while on Thursday? Isn't that what friends do? Hang out for a little while and then someone goes home?

FC:  Yes, that's what friends do, not douchebags trying to redeem themselves.

DB: Let's sleep on, I really don't want to mess this up. I really like you.

FC: Sorry, can't do Thursday I have a date with a "non-lying" bastard. You go right ahead and "sleep on it" tonight, tomorrow night and all the nights to come..


OH YA, one more thing.. one probably shouldn't email us, telling us about one of the crazy beauties and her blog that she wrote about you and your lying habits. When you try and copy and paste things from her site that makes her look crazy and you less douchey you should probably not include the link to her whole blog as well. That lets us see the whole un-editied blog and lets the world see how big of a ass you really are.

So world, enjoy.

Patrick the Playa